


KFC Has Nothing On Me

by Anonymous



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, assumed daddy kink, just dumbassery, kink assumptions, nothing spicy happens, the KFC movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29180604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Bokuto begins to worry about the security in his relationship when he sees Akaashi oogling over a character in the KFC original movie, A Recipe For Seduction. He comes to a conclusion of how to save(?) his relationship. Will it work?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Kudos: 30
Collections: Fanfic Anonymous





	KFC Has Nothing On Me

**Author's Note:**

> Before y'all read this, fucking watch the KFC original movie and don't you DARE tell me Colonel Sanders doesn't look like a Dollar Store Bokuto. 
> 
> Watch movie at the link below:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9mgD1DpmZ8&ab_channel=Lifetime

Bokuto pushed open the front door with his elbow, his hands full of grocery bags. His partner was just where he left him, laying on the couch with his laptop propped up on the coffee table. A small bowl of strawberries was on his chest, and his lithe fingers dipped into the bowl to grab one out. Bokuto set the bags on the kitchen table as he eyed Akaashi slowly biting into his strawberry, eyes glued to the laptop in front of him. 

“I’m home,” Bokuto announced, taking out some of the food to put in the fridge. Akaashi grunted in return, focused solely on the screen. Bokuto pouted and quickly put away the foot before kneeling beside the side of the couch near Akaashi’s head. He peeked at the screen, his eyebrows furrowed. He reached his hand out and moved the mouse around on screen until the title topped up on top. 

“A Recipe for Seduction?” Bokuto read outloud, glancing back at his partner. He received a halfhearted shrug. 

“The love interest is…” Akaashi mumbled as a man appeared on screen. He had tanned skin and poorly sprayed on grey hair dye. His hair was up in a ridiculous, geeky way, and Bokuto didn’t appreciate how the man gestured to things on screen, his biceps flexing accidentally as he did so. He glanced back to Akaashi, who had a strawberry against his lips, paused in time as he watched the man cross the screen.

Bokuto huffed in annoyance. “He’s not that good looking. He looks stupid.”

Akaashi lulled his head to the side to stare at Bokuto for a good minute, then looked back to the screen. “Mm, his mustache looks fake, but I think he’s quite handsome regardless. Though, I would prefer his hair to be lighter, roots darker, face a bit differently shaped... He possesses a lot that I like though.”

“Oh really?” Bokuto grumbled, standing to go finish putting away groceries. Akaashi put his bowl on the table beside his laptop and turned to lay on his stomach, watching Bokuto’s retreat.

“We should watch it later together,” Akaashi hummed, “I’m sure you’ll relate to how passionate he is in more ways than one…”

Bokuto didn’t bother responding as he put away the eggs and milk he got. It didn’t take long for Akaashi to pull himself up and find his way to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around his middle while pressing his cheek against Bokuto’s sturdy back. “He also is so awkward and uncertain in the beginning. It’s cute. It reminds me of when we first started going out.”

“I acted so stupid back then,” Bokuto mumbled, cheeks tinted red as he leaned back against Akaashi. 

“I remember on our first date you were as stiff as a board.” Akaashi sighed wistfully. “I tried to tap your shoulder to get your attention once and you nearly jumped out of your skin.”

Bokuto resisted the urge to pout and shove his boyfriend away, too pleased to be nestled in his arms and have his attention. One point Bokuto, zero points the laptop movie. He smiled. 

“AKAASHI!” Bokuto cheered as he stormed up to the front bleachers, waving his hands in the air as if he could be hard to spot. Akaashi sent him a smile as he crept down from his seat to join his partner by the wall, a small, familiar man following after him. “Udai wanted to see more games too?”

“Yes,” Akaashi hummed, resting his forearms on the top of the wall to lean closer to Bokuto, “he wanted to get more ideas and possibly interview you afterwards.”

“Eh?” Udai huffed as he appeared at Akaashi’s side, standing half a foot taller. It was funny to remember how tall Akaashi was compared to others, especially when his posture was usually horrible and Bokuto was always surrounded by tall people. Udai shook his head. “I like to have our meetings recorded so I can look back and I look absolutely awful right now, I wouldn’t bear watching it over and over.”

“You look fine, Udai-san,” Akaashi replied easily, reaching a hand out to pick at a fuzz on Udai’s shoulder. His fingers accidentally brushed against the ends of Udai’s long locks as he flicked the speck away. “Button up your shirt the rest of the way and maybe pull your hair back and you’ll be good to go.”

“You think so?” Udai asked, not sounding too convinced as he dragged a hand through his hair. Akaashi’s eyebrows furrowed and he caught Udai’s wrist, bringing it down.

“You are just going to make it messy, at least go to the bathroom to use a mirror,” He scolded gently as he patted Udai’s shoulder, then turned to face Bokuto, who watched the scene in front of him intently, gears turning as he stared. Finally, he came to a conclusion of how he felt about the interaction in front of him. Not too good. He liked when Akaashi fussed over him, despite the fact that Akaashi himself could be a bit of a slob, but not so much when it was other people. It looked too much like how Akaashi treated him.

“Do you have time to do a little interview, Bokuto-san?”

And it was weird because Bokuto didn’t look a lot like Udai. Udai was shorter, had longer, curled hair. He hunched his shoulders and was thin. His skin was paler and the dark under his eyes stood out. They didn’t look alike, nor did they behave the same in Bokuto’s eyes. He didn’t even look like Harland Sanders, the love interest of A Recipe for Seduction. 

Was he being paranoid? Yes, probably. He just really didn’t like Akaashi touching other people, especially after he fawned over a character on screen. 

Ugh. But he knows Akaashi, and Akaashi wouldn’t try to make him jealous or would want to open their relationship. He just likes admiring what’s on the market, even if he is off of it.

… Bokuto sagged a little. Yeah, that’s a worse way to put it.

“Bokuto-san? Do you need some water? I have some left here-”

But what was he looking at? He obviously liked the man on screen, but Udai… there wasn’t much of a connection between the two, but Akaashi said he looked ‘fine’. Well, except their ages. The grey haired actor had to be at least forty, and Udai…. If Bokuto had to guess, he was in his mid-thirties. 

Bokuto froze. Grey hair. Some wrinkles. Facial hair. Mature voice. Old. Older. Older than Akaashi Keiji. Older than Akaashi Keiji, twenty two years old. 

His eyes narrowed on Akaashi, but he tensed when he caught a glimpse of his reflection against the water bottle being held out. 

He had grey hair. He was older. Akaashi called him Bokuto-san. 

Oh shit.

“L-Later! I really have to- uh- Hinata wanted… cat… bye!” Bokuto screeched, scrambling away from the side of the court and straight to his friends like a bat out of hell. Akaashi pulled the water bottle back to his side, frowning at his escaping partner. 

“Well, we can catch him later. Want to get some onigiri?”

As Akaashi’s partner, it was Bokuto’s duty to provide what he needed, whether it be back rubs or cuddles or working with his boyfriend’s kinks. 

So, as one does, Bokuto decided to become more desirable for his boyfriend to hopefully woo him over even more (and also make him only oogle at him)! 

It took a bit of shopping around, but he found exactly the materials he was looking for! It reminded him of the times Akaashi would dress in his MSBY jersey to coax him in for the night, but this time, Akaashi would be the one who is speechless! 

He has done all the research. He knows how older people dress, how people within specific naughty communities treat this fetish, and more! It was safe to say that he was ready, and he felt ready as he stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. He had tan cargo shorts on, a grey shirt with big black lettering that said “#1 Dad” with a tropical print short sleeved shirt over it. He had a baseball cap and knee length socks stuffed into bright orange crocs. He looked older. He looked mature. He looked, as he later learned about, like a ‘daddy’. A daddy was what the people online said he was, or would be for Akaashi. That was fine, maybe a bit weird, but anything for Akaashi! He was just glad that he was older than Akaashi too, so the illusion was a bit more real! Sure, it was only by a year, but the small details didn’t matter. 

Grinning to himself, he headed out of the bathroom and went straight to their shared bed where Akaashi was waiting for him, drumming his fingers against the TV remote. 

He raised an eyebrow as his dark eyes raked over Bokuto’s form. “... I didn’t buy you that.”

“I went shopping by myself,” Bokuto boasted, marching over to the bed and sitting at the side. He was practically vibrating with excitement, but Akaashi’s blank expression remained. 

“And… you wanted to go to sleep in that?” 

“I wanted to do a bit more than that,” Bokuto admitted without grace. Akaashi’s lips twitched, setting the remote aside. Based on the fact that the TV wasn’t on to begin with, he supposed Akaashi didn’t intend to put on a show and sleep either. Leaning close, Akaashi reached a hand out to trail down Bokuto’s naked forearm. 

“It’s a little hard to take you seriously in that shirt.” Akaashi’s gaze dropped back down to the material and his fingertips grazed the fabric. “I’ll tell you right now we aren’t adopting any kids.”

“No!” Bokuto exclaimed, nose scrunching. He was way too young to start thinking about kids, and he wanted Akaashi’s time all to himself. And, to ensure that- “It’s for you!”

Akaashi’s eyes flickered back up to meet his, his eyebrow raising. 

“I’m your daddy.”

To his credit, Akaashi remained unphased, but he did pull back. “Excuse me?”

“You like older men, so I looked it up online and there was a whole lot of people who liked that too! I learned that they like fathers a lot, but I don’t really want to get a kid either, so I thought dressing the part would do it for you.”

Akaashi calmly folded his hands in front of him, then brought them up to drag across his face in exasperation. With a deep breath, he composed himself once more. “And… What made you think that I liked older men?”

“I’m older than you.”

“That is true. What else.”

“... You typically are around other people who are older a lot because of your job.” You are comfortable touching Udai’s hair and wrist and shoulder- “And you really liked that actor on screen, and he had to be like fifty years old! He had grey hair!”

Akaashi stared at Bokuto for a while, the mild annoyance in his eyes dulling as Bokuto sat, twisting his hands together. “Or, possibly, I liked him because he looked like and reminded me of you…?”

“Ah. I didn’t think about that.” Bokuto frowned. He didn’t think he looked much like the guy from Recipe for Seduction, but Akaashi had a better eye for analyzing and remembered things better than an elephant. “So… you don’t like… older people?”

Akaashi’s lips pressed tight together. His eyebrows curled in as he glanced down at the sheets. “... I mean… I’ve only dated and loved you… Colonel Sanders was pretty attractive… I’d certainly hope not, but you may have more evidence of the latter than I thought…”

Bokuto waggled his eyebrows and leaned closer to peck Akaashi’s cheek. “So, you think I look hot like this?”

Akaashi’s gaze turned steely. “If you want any chance of even cuddling today, you will take off that ridiculous outfit. You are too young to look that… That.”

“Oh, you already want me to strip?” Bokuto squaked, slipping off the tropical print shirt. “I will if you call me daddy.”

“I will sleep on the couch.”

“C’mon baby boy!”

Akaashi turned and grasped his pillow, whirling around fast to knock it into Bokuto’s side.

**Author's Note:**

> There isn't really a reason for why I made this and why it's so bad. It just is what it is.


End file.
